Kathleen Guthrie Woods

1. Please tell us a bit about yourself and your work.
I have been writing and editing professionally for over two decades. Most of my client work falls into the advertising and marketing realms, with recent projects ranging from creating website content and press releases to  ghostwriting blog posts. I also write feature articles and the occasional personal essay. It’s a full life, and I’m grateful I get paid to do this work!

2. Has writing always been a focus for you or was it a Plan B? 
I write every day for clients, plus I have a blog (52Nudges.com), for which I write at least two posts every week.

 

As for my books, those came out of a need to heal myself. The first, Life Without Baby Holiday Companion, is a compilation of blog posts. Lisa Manterfield created the Life Without Baby site (and her books are amazing!), and I wrote at least one column a week for eight years. When we started, I felt like I was writing to an audience of two, that we were working out what we needed to tell ourselves to generate our own healing from childlessness. (Lisa’s story is about infertility, while mine is about being childless by circumstances.)

 

My second book, The Mother of All Dilemmas, started life as my journal as I tried to figure out if I could be a single parent - which, at the time, seemed like my only option to get the life I wanted. So much of memoir writing, I think, is therapy, and in the process of exploring my options, and then writing about it, I found my way to healing and wholeness in a Plan B life I’d never before imagined.

3. How do you explore ideas or find inspiration for your work?
I am naturally curious. I love 'interviewing' people and hearing their stories - we have so much to learn from each other! Overall, I suppose I’m looking for inspiration and answers for myself, and if I can help other people along the way, how wonderful!

4. What does the process of writing involve for you?

I guess it starts with getting my butt in the chair. Monday through Friday, regular office hours. For me, it begins with research, then interviewing people who know more about the subject than I do. Then, when I feel I have enough, I let the information I’ve gathered tell me what story it wants to tell, and the voice with which it wants to be told. That may come after I’ve written a full draft, then realizing there’s a stronger message in the mess. I love that moment of discovery.

5. And what does writing then also give you in return?
It’s therapy. It’s a method for dumping out everything you think you know and finding meaning in it, finding your way through the mess. Oftentimes, too, I’ll get in a flow and realize I’ve been sitting in the same position for hours, just writing, creating, expressing. It is a beautiful high.

And, as scary as it is to put myself out into the world through my writing, I’ve made lovely connections with readers. Emails and calls from women who told me my work has helped them in their journeys toward healing are incredible gifts.

6. Has seeing your work in print changed how you view yourself, and also how you view your NoMo status?
I was in a bookshop this past weekend and there was my book on the shelf. It’s surreal! I wrote that! There is so much that goes into writing and releasing a book, all the work of writing plus editing plus marketing plus the emotional stuff we put ourselves through to get to the finish line. I have long considered myself a 'writer', but it wasn’t until my second book was published that I felt I’d earned the title of 'author'. I take great pride in this accomplishment.

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Lately I’ve started to feel like I’m one of our NoMo Elders. I still struggle with the losses of being childless not by choice, but more and more, I’m finding myself in the role of supporting and encouraging younger women who are just hitting the hard reality of their losses. I get it, because I got through it. I am thrilled to see how many more resources are out there since I started, and I love seeing how women are speaking up and helping each other. It’s still a harsh world out there, one that doesn’t appreciate what we’ve been through and are going through, but I do believe things are better because we’ve found our way to each other. Wouldn’t wish the hardships on anyone, but I feel so lucky to know the incredible women - and men - who make up our tribe.

7. Tell us about the wider reception that you’ve had to sharing your story - has it changed how others have viewed you and your identity as a non-parent?
Well, I can’t hide! I get recognized in the strangest places. For example, I was at a work event for my husband, and as we were leaving, a woman pulled me aside to tell me my book helped her. It was a very personal, private and touching moment.

And because we share our innermost feelings in memoir, we shock some friends and family members who thought they knew us. It can create some awkward moments, but if it helps another woman feel seen, I’m all in.

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The big press and thoughtful reviews I’ve received have been gratifying, affirming. The hate mail on social media? Not so much. I don’t know where people get the idea that I must hate mothers and children. There are a lot of hurt people out there who apparently feel the need to hurt others. (They should try writing as therapy!)

8. How do you feel about the current representation of childless and/or childfree people in literature?

I keep hoping it will improve. I’m so over the negative stereotypes. What a cop-out! Just because we’re childless doesn’t mean we don’t have dreams, ambitions, interesting hobbies and unique skills, and vast emotional ranges! Do a little work and present us as fully developed characters, for pete’s sake!

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Meanwhile, I’m pleased to see us shining a spotlight on stories that do honor who we are – like in the books that are recommended by The NoMo Book Club.

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9. What would you like the publishing world to know about non-parents, both as writers and readers, and our stories?
Please be respectful. We’re as fully human as everyone else, with or without offspring. Although ... because we aren’t having to pay for children’s expenses, we do have more cash to spend on buying books! (Think about that, publishers.)

10. What future plans do you have, especially for your writing?
As the most intense promotional work for The Mother of All Dilemmas wound down, I started to think about getting back to the creation part of authoring again. I longed to imagine, dream, and write for fun and the pure joy of creating. What did I want to write about? I sat myself down and came up with five ideas for books, then I asked, “What do I most want to read?” Because the only way I’ll find out how they end is if I write them! I picked one, a historical fiction based on a box of letters I inherited. I dove into research and interviews (see 'process' question above), then had to pause to take care of some family issues. I hope to get back to it soon. I already miss the characters I created, and I want to find out what happens next in their journeys!