Yoda Olinyk

1. Please tell us a bit about yourself and your work.

Writing has always been a passion and a hobby, but I decided to pursue another passion of mine as a career and became a professional chef in my early 20s. I spent a decade working in restaurants all over the world, traveling, experimenting, and even opened my own restaurant. I made a big career shift to writing full time after my first book came out, which was actually a combination of both my loves: writing and cooking (a cookbook memoir.) Now, I help people write, finish, format, and publish their own books, and am also a full-time writer and poet.

 

2. Has writing always been a focus for you or was it a Plan B?

I think, deep down, I always knew I wasn’t going to be a parent in a traditional sense. I have never desired children and always feared becoming pregnant. Writing was always something I used to process these big feelings and I now find myself using writing to connect with other women who share my story.

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3. How do you explore ideas or find inspiration for your work?

Lately, I’ve been doing ‘colour walks’ – leaving the house with no earbuds and just walking around my neighborhood or a forest and noticing a specific colour as many times as I can. I always find myself bursting with ideas when I return! I like to spend time with art and the natural world as much as possible. I am also very inspired by reading books, and I find if I ever have writer’s block, sitting down to read something for about 20 minutes can really shift my entire mentality.

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4. What does the process of writing involve for you?

As mentioned, I always try to read before I sit down to write. I find it is kind of like kindling in a fire. It gets my brain all fired up in the right places. I almost always light a candle and some incense, and make sure I am feeling warm enough with comfy socks and clothes. I usually say a little prayer to the writing gods (kidding, but not really!) and bring outside forces into my writing practice.

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5. And what does writing then also give you in return?

Writing has given me the chance to process my feelings in a meaningful, deep, and gentle way. Writing has given me a clear path to sobriety, to processing grief, and to healthy relationships. There’s basically nothing that I don’t first process on the page. I try my best to write as if no one will ever read it … and then maybe, I might edit it, and share it, but most of my writing is in the form of ambling diary entries that are just for me. I used to say, “It’s cheaper than therapy!” but of course, I go to therapy too!

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6. Has seeing your work in print changed how you view yourself, and also how you view your NoMo status?

My journey to becoming a published writer certainly fulfilled a childhood dream I’d always had. Sometimes I feel a little sad because so many of the mothers in my life have had these big parties thrown when they get pregnant; when they give birth. I believe these things should indeed be celebrated! But there was no party when I got my first book deal and sometimes I wish there was.

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7. Tell us about the wider reception that you’ve had to sharing your story - has it changed how others have viewed you and your identity as a non-parent?

Although my book didn’t focus on my life as a non-parent, I did use those pages to share the deep, overwhelming grief (and simultaneous relief) that I felt when I realized I would not have children with my ex. I still think about it and reflect on it often. Many people reached out to me to say they understood – that although my decision to leave my marriage was the best thing, it also meant the loss of a whole future, one that might have included children.

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8. How do you feel about the current representation of childless and/or childfree people in literature?

I sometimes get a little fired up about the way traditional gender roles and monogamous relationships are portrayed in media … and don’t get me started on the whole ‘nuclear family’ model. I grew up with shows like Friends where all of the leading female characters had a story regarding fertility – as a surrogate, as a single mother, as an adoptive mother. And I always wondered: where is the woman who had decided not to have children? I don’t think the world was ready for it then … but I think it is now. I see it talked about more on TV, but I can’t help but feel a little angry when I see those same narratives being celebrated over and over again.

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9. What would you like the publishing world to know about non-parents, both as writers and readers, and our stories?

Women are capable of SO many things. Mothers should be celebrated, and women who choose to not become parents should be too. There are a million reasons why someone might not have children – please don’t ask an author why they don’t, unless they bring it up!!!

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10. What future plans do you have, especially for your writing?

My plans include traveling the world and writing books. I have four ideas in the works, one of them centralizing around reproductive rights and abortion in Canada. I am also working on a book about un-mothering, which includes stories of my own mother, my decision to remain childless, and getting to know my partner’s child. My future includes a luxurious book tour, backpacking through South Africa, falling more in love with my people and my pets and my plants, adopting another dog, and running a half marathon.