Lana Manikowski

1. Please tell us a bit about yourself and your work.
I work at the intersection of grief, identity, and reinvention for women who are childless not by choice. I help women find purpose and direction after the loss of the dream of motherhood. I host The “So Now What?” podcast each week and, in 2022, founded The Other’s Day Brunch, an annual event held the day before Mother’s Day in the United States. The event brings women from around the world to Chicago to feel celebrated and unified in community with other childless women.

In 2025, I published my first book, So Now What?, a comprehensive resource for women navigating an unexpectedly childless life. The book goes beyond helping readers simply see that there is more to womanhood than motherhood. It addresses the areas where many women feel stuck, sidelined, or misunderstood. Through reflection and practical tools, it supports readers in moving through common challenges such as responding to intrusive comments, reimagining holiday traditions without children, and stepping out of the emotional limbo that comes from years spent waiting to see if motherhood will happen. It invites women to stop living on pause and start creating a life that feels purposeful, connected, and exciting. So Now What? is grounded in both lived experience and professional training in grief and post-traumatic growth.

2. Has writing always been a focus for you or was it a Plan B?
I occasionally wrote during my school years but never envisioned becoming a published author. The decision to write a book came 4 years after I left my fertility clinic with no resources and no guidance on how to navigate life without children. I felt compelled to create something for the women who, like me, were asking a question that no one seemed prepared to answer: "So now what?" Women who are childless are in need of resources that reflect their reality and help them grow into a full and meaningful life, rather than fade into the background because they did not become mothers.

3. How do you explore ideas or find inspiration for your work?
My inspiration comes from the remarkable women I serve in the childless community. Their stories, questions, and quiet longings inform much of my work. I listen not only to what is spoken but also to what remains unsaid. The courage it takes to reimagine life after the dream of motherhood has been ignited is a profound source of creative energy for me.

I am especially drawn to the “missing” milestones that society maps out for parents but rarely re-imagines for those without children. I also explore the challenge of explaining a life that does not fit cultural expectations. These themes shape both my coaching work and my writing.

4. What does the process of writing involve for you?
I begin with a central theme, often one that feels underrepresented or emotionally difficult to discuss. I write in segments, adding to each topic as I hear more from clients and community members. Rather than completing a section all at once, I allow it to evolve and deepen over time.

5. And what does writing then also give you in return?
Writing offers me clarity, purpose, and connection. It helps me make sense of my experience and reminds me that I am not alone. Writing has become a way for me to contribute, not in spite of my childlessness, but because of it.

6. Has seeing your work in print changed how you view yourself, and also how you view your NoMo status?
Publishing So Now What? affirmed that I do not need permission to speak or create. My identity as a woman without children has shifted from something I once hesitated to share to something I now lead with and am proud of. It has become a source of strength and connection, instead of a space that was once defined only by loss.

7. Tell us about the wider reception that you’ve had to sharing your story - has it changed how others have viewed you and your identity as a non-parent?
The reception to my story has been revealing. Many readers have told me they finally feel seen, and that the book feels like talking to a trusted friend on the sofa: warm, understanding, and honest, yet encouraging them to step out of the darkness and consider that life can feel meaningful and purposeful without children. Others have shared that my work helped them reconnect with a future they thought no longer existed, a future where they are excited about what is ahead, grounded in who they are, and fulfilled in a life that does not include motherhood. I hear from women who are learning to forgive their bodies, rebuild their relationships, and create lives that feel meaningful without children. Although the book reflects my
own experience as a married woman who went through IVF, the insights and guidance have resonated with readers across many paths to childlessness. To my surprise, I have received feedback from parents who have found that the themes and reflective prompts in my book serve are impactful for their own personal growth.

For years, I stayed silent about my path in many of my social circles. Publishing this book opened up conversations I never expected, both with people who had quietly been wondering if they were the only ones, and with others who wanted to better understand someone in their life navigating a similar reality. What was once met with discomfort, silence, or assumptions is now more often met with connection, curiosity, and conversation. I no longer show up as someone who is missing something, but as someone who has a meaningful perspective to offer.

8. How do you feel about the current representation of childless and/or childfree people in literature?
Representation is beginning to improve, but there is still a long way to go. Too often, childless characters are portrayed as emotionally stunted, overly ambitious, or tragic. I would like to see more portrayals of women without children who are living thoughtful, creative, and fulfilling lives. We need stories that reflect joy, complexity, and choice, not just stories that revolve around absence or regret.

9. What would you like the publishing world to know about non-parents, both as writers and readers, and our stories?
Non-parents are a vital part of the literary landscape, both as readers and as writers. Our lives are full of depth, nuance, and wisdom, and our stories resonate with universal themes like identity, rebuilding, belonging, and becoming. We are not a marginal voice or a taboo category. We are a part of the broader human story, and the publishing world has an opportunity to reflect that with greater honesty and range.

10. What future plans do you have, especially for your writing?
I am currently developing two additional book concepts that explore childlessness from different angles. These projects are part of my ongoing commitment to broaden the conversation around childlessness and to create more resources and space for our voices, stories, and our definitions of a life well lived.