Lucy Meggeson

1. Please tell us a bit about yourself and your work.
I’ve made some mahoosive changes in the last 5 years. I left the corporate London rat race at the beginning of Covid (having worked at BBC Radio 2 for several years followed by a brief stint as a detective) in order to take back control of my life and start living it on my own terms. I was following the intuitive knowing that had been whispering to me for years that there was more to life, and that I wasn’t fulfilling my potential. Initially, I became a part-time barista in a local London coffee shop, as well as becoming my sister’s cleaner in order to pay the bills, while I worked out what I was going to do next. During that time — and out of the clear blue sky — an idea came to start talking about being a single, childfree woman. It felt so wrong that the world saw my life as somehow ‘less than’, a failure, or that I hadn’t quite ‘made it’, when the truth was that I had never felt happier, more free, or more excited about life. And so my podcast, Thrive Solo (formerly Spinsterhood Reimagined) was born. I subsequently started a membership community for single women, Thrive Solo, and before I knew it I had a book deal with Bloomsbury in the UK and Hay House in the US. 

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2. Has writing always been a focus for you or was it a Plan B?

No, writing has actually never been a focus for me! I was always more likely to write an album as music is my passion and I used to be in a band. But a few months after I started the podcast, an editor from Bloomsbury reached out and asked if I’d ever thought about writing a book, and I signed a deal about a year or so later. In terms of a Plan B that evolved from realising I wouldn’t be a parent, one thing I know for sure is that if I had become a parent, I wouldn’t have written a book — and that’s regardless of the fact that the book itself is about being single and childfree! The point is that had I got married and started a family of my own, the chances of me starting a podcast or writing a book would have been slim to none, and I’m truly grateful that my life has taken me down this particular path instead.  

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3. How do you explore ideas or find inspiration for your work?

What I’ve found is that creativity begets creativity. When I first started the podcast, I used to wonder whether I would run out of things to say, especially because as well as a guest episode on Tuesdays, I also do a solo minisode every Saturday. But in my experience, the more regularly I create — whether it’s via the podcast, Instagram, or writing — the more comes to mind that I want to create. I also find a lot of inspiration through the many, many podcasts and audiobooks I listen to. I will often hear something on a podcast interview that gives me an idea for an episode, and I use the ‘Notes’ app on my iPhone daily to note down those ideas. I find that the more inspirational content I consume, the more inspired I am to create things of my own. I’ve also done a lot of personal growth work over the last 5 years, and this has undoubtedly opened my mind up to receive ‘divine downloads’ that I was previously too closed off to hear. I used to spend my time feeling stressed out and anxious, in my sympathetic nervous system far too much, and it’s hard to create from that place. I now meditate and practice breathwork regularly so my nervous system is in a much more balanced state — and this has allowed me to connect far more with my creative side.

4. What does the process of writing involve for you?

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from writing a book it’s that you cannot wait for inspiration to strike — you simply have to sit your butt down and write. I tend to write in the mornings, before doing any of my ‘regular’ work on the podcast or membership, because this is when my brain works best. Sometimes I set a timer for 30 minutes and make myself sit there and write until the alarm goes off! I find that when my mind is blank and nothing is coming to me, if I can just force out one sentence, it will often lead the next and the next and the next. Some days when writing my book, I was happy if I even managed a paragraph, but ultimately consistency is key and you just have to do the goddam thing one baby step at a time. I’ve also learnt that it doesn’t matter if you’re writing a load of rubbish, because often that so-called rubbish will eventually lead to something great. Just get something down on the page.  

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5. And what does writing then also give you in return?

A huge sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It’s an amazing feeling when the words are just pouring out of you and you come up with a really brilliant sentence, paragraph or point. There’s also nothing better than finding a way to express a thought you have in your head but have been struggling to get down on the page.

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6. Has seeing your work in print changed how you view yourself, and also how you view your NoMo status?

Seeing my book out in the world, and my other pieces in various publications, has been — and still is — a very surreal experience. My book has only been out for a month so I’m still getting used to seeing it in actual shops! In terms of how I view myself, I’m finally beginning to believe in my abilities which is something I’ve always struggled with. It’s like I’ve always known there was this badass inside of me, but I’d been playing small for decades, not allowing the truly authentic version of me to shine. Of course I still experience moments of insecurity and doubt, but I remind myself that I wouldn’t have got book deals on both sides of the pond if I wasn’t ‘enough’. And when it comes to how I view my NoMo status, I actually feel prouder than ever to be one of the women flying the flag for another way of life and I’m grateful that my work helps women realise that a childfree life can be fabulous too.

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7. Tell us about the wider reception that you’ve had to sharing your story - has it changed how others have viewed you and your identity as a non-parent?

Funny you should ask! Just after the book came out in June, I had a piece in The Telegraph that went viral because of all the online hate it received — so much so that they put me on the front page of the print edition a few days later. So, when it comes to the wider reception, the tsunami of vitriol and rage that has come my way in the last few weeks has fuelled the fire in my belly to be even louder about childfree lives. I find it fascinating that women who have, in particular, chosen to not have kids seem to trigger such strong reactions in other people — particularly men, in my experience. This topic matters and we should continue to shine a light on women without kids — whatever their reasons for being so — so that the world starts to realise our value isn’t less because we’re not mothers.

8. How do you feel about the current representation of childless and/or childfree people in literature?

It would be really awesome to see childfree women represented in a more positive light! As I’ve pointed out multiple times in my work, one key thing that’s missing in the narrative around women without kids is the fact that precisely because we don’t have kids, we’re able to throw our energies into all manner of other wonderful things. For my own part, because I’m a childfree woman, I have the great privilege of being able to focus almost entirely on following my passions and my dreams. It’s such a gift to be able to immerse myself in creative endeavours without interruption. As I know only too well from my podcast, women without children are doing fabulous things with their lives, and I would love to see more stories written about this instead of always focusing on what we ‘lack’.  

9. What would you like the publishing world to know about non-parents, both as writers and readers, and our stories?

Given that the number of women choosing not to have children is on the rise, the publishing industry is seriously missing a trick if it doesn’t take into account this growing demographic. Also, women without kids are far more than just ‘women without kids’. Not being a mother is not my identity and women in general have far more to give to this world than just their offspring.
 

10. What future plans do you have, especially for your writing?

I would like to continue growing my podcast and my membership as a means of helping single women without kids understand that their worth does not come from a husband or a baby — it comes from within them. I would also love to write a second book about everything I’ve learnt about life over the last 5 years — namely that life is in large part about how we choose to perceive it and that the mind is far more powerful than most of us realise. I’m passionate about spreading the message that we have so much more agency over our lives than we perhaps realise, and that we are, in fact, creators. The question is: are you creating by default or by design?